He Died for Me. I Live for Him

The title is actually what is written on one of my rings. I got this ring last year after God asked me to jump back into the paramedic field. My heart is to follow God, because He honestly is the one who has stood by me in times that "only" He could stand by me. I wanted to buy this ring before I jumped back on as a paramedic, so that when I faced crazy calls, that I could look down at this ring and remember what God has done for me and that with Him I could do this.

I bought a new ring recently with the bonus money I got for working one entire year at my company. What an accomplishment for me. So many times I wanted to run and quit because it was too hard, or too scary, or even too painful. God asked me to stick it out with Him, and you know what I am still there. At least for a little time longer. The ring I bought this time is very simple, is small with a little gold heart, and the gold heart has an even tinier cross lined in it.

The first ring has helped me to remember that I need to keep going with God even if it means sacrificing comfort, or if it is terrifying, or whatever God asks me to do, I need to do because I live for Him, He died for me. This other ring is simple and just perdy. :-) It is such a reminder to me that God really does fulfill His promises. It is to remind me that I am never alone, that I am loved so dearly, and that in all I have gone through my God was either walking beside me or caring me when I could not walk on my own. I know these rings have no power"such as in Lord of the Rings" They are just reminders, of such sweet things of God, so that I don't forget when my days get a little crazy.

My journey is nearly just beginning. My hearts desire when all else is not blocking the view, is for God. There are so many times that the enemy steps in, or my own sinful desires try to block out the goodness and love God has for me. Recently I have been able to see so much more clearly about this love God has for me and I can tell you, I want to do whatever it takes to know and believe more sincerely that There is a living, tangible God who Loves me Unconditionally. How much different would my life be if I knew this love with not just my head but also with my whole heart? I can honestly say, My Mask would come down and I could totally relax not fearing rejection or loneliness at times. I would be able to trust God in other people that if I were needing those "hands and feet" from my christian sisters I would actually ask and allow God to love me through them. I would not constantly worry about my future because I would trust God and His love for me and know He has plans to give me a hope and a future. My past would no longer define me. I would be a Daughter of The King and in humility and knowing where My daddy brought me out of would serve others; love others out of the love my daddy has so freely poured out on me. I would know How Beautiful I truly Am because My daddy spent time forming me and making me just how He desired me to look. I would take care of myself. I would make sure this temple of God would be a place worthy of my daddy to dwell. I would have Joy and in that have strength to face each day. The list goes on. I long and desire so much to allow God to do Whatever it Takes to get me to a place where my heart opens and trusts Him enough to show me His love and for me to believe it with my entire heart, mind, and soul.

Walking in His Grace and Mercy ~sarah dudek~

O How He loves "ME"

God used a silly movie to touch my heart tonight. What a sacrifice Christ paid for me on that cross. I did not deserve His life to be shed for me. He stepped in front of that bullet that was intended to kill me because I deserved it. He pushed me out of the way willingly knowing that there was a chance I may not appreciate all He did. He willingly carried, my cross, willingly became a man to know what I experience, and said" Sarah Dudek, I love you, and I am going to take the blame for all the evil you have done, and i am going to the cross to die instead of you."

On the cross, He looked and saw me" He knew the evil I would do, the hate I would have for Him, and yet, He stayed loving me enough to endure all that pain, suffering, and then a terrible death because He loves me." Words can't describe How much this should effect my heart. I should know because of this act of Love, that He Loves me. Not only does He love me, but He wants to know me, walk with me, and help me. What love! He gave me a chance to live and a chance to know a love so deep. What am I doing? Because He loves me and because He died in the place that was intended for me while I was still evil, I should love Him with my entire life. O Sarah Dudek, "if you get one thing in your head, know the love that Jesus has for you, and walk in it."

"only by His grace" ~sarah dudek~

Be Still and Know...

Today, I went out to Camp Carl after being cooped up all week indoors from the cold and snow. I walked Romans Road in deep snow all the way out to the out door chapel. As I walked; I did not have a thought in my mind just a song of worship on my heart until I got to my destination. This road I have walked for at least five years at different points of my life. Many times before, this walk was met with such intense thought and intense crying out to God. Today, this walk was peaceful.

When I got out to the out door chapel I laid down in the snow looking up into the sky through the bare trees. The wind was lightly blowing and snow gently falling and landing on my face. I was wearing my new coat and was so comfortable and not too cold laying there. As I lay, nothing went through my mind. I could hear the wind and well the soft call of traffic on the highway, but nothing was on my mind. Peace. I Was Still. What an Awesome thing, to have fought through and have made it to a place that in the midst of the storm, I can find a place to be still and know that God is in control. Nothing in my life's circumstances has changed, I have changed.

What an amazing God we serve. I will cherish that time with God out at camp today. My hope is to go to that place, walk in that place, and to be still and know that he is God all the time.

"only by His grace"~sarah dudek~

Why did I start a Blog,,, Ponder???

Yeah, I really like sharing what God does. .....He has done so much and this will give me a way to share what He is doing and has done with whomever stumbles their way across this blog. I hope to encourage you"the reader" in saying boy I know what its like to be in a really dark place, lonely, hurt, angry, and scared. Then to tell you that their is someone who can take that person and change them from the inside out. I am a person whom God is redeeming day by day. He is taking me one step at a time to a place I could of only dreamed about. He is chiseling this heart of stone and hardend gunk and making something He can work with. I thank my Daddy for that, Because He told Me He could move the mountains in my life back in June 2009 and now I am watching Him Move them. Wow, What A Wonderful Savior. I am looking forward to sharing with you what God continues to show me as I day by day learn to Rest and Trust that He is in Control... "only by His Grace"~sarah dudek~